The Last Exam!

“Merchant Banking is the most dreadful subject in the term!! No wonder we have got four holidays in that exam!! Thank God!!” these words by the biggest ghissu (padhaku) of the class were resonating in my ears as I was boarding my flight from Kerala to Delhi after comfortably enjoying ‘those’ four days in God’s own lap. “God!! You got to save me. It’s the last exam God. And after all I was in your own country!” I prayed shamelessly while searching for my seat. “Here it is…13A,B,C…come fast.” shouted my little sis. “Yours is 13B…wah kya number mila hai!” she giggled. “Damn! Ye to apshagun hai..now I wont pass in my exam!! Shit!” I laughed.

After about half an hour, I finally reluctantly opened my notes, better called ‘raddi’ by our teacher himself. I took the entire bundle of fresh crisp notes and handed them over to my sis and asked, “What do you think? Kitne kilo hogi? I don’t think its more than 2 Kg. At this rate, I’ll get just Rs. 12 for this!! Damn!” She gave me that smile which meant that’s one of the worst PJ’s I’ve ever heard and you better get down to studies. So I finally opened them, and chose to start from Unit 4 – Preference share issue, the thinnest bundle of the raddi. “Damn! I can’t understand this crap! Not even a word! Shit!” I said. “Why? Class mein kya karti thi?” My sis asked. All that time pass, chatting, gossiping, blogging, writing stories and poems, sleeping, day dreaming etc came running to my mind. “Umm…it’s a tough subject actually!” I replied and got back to studying with full concentration which lasted maximum 10 minutes and I soon dozed off only to wake up at the time of the meal and finally at 7.30 pm when the flight reached Delhi.

“I am not going home!!” I declared. “What??” everyone asked in unison. “I mean, just drop me at Megha’s flat. She’s the only one who can teach me something...something such that I at least pass in the exam!” I said nervously. Everyone was too tired to argue, and hence I got permission without any hassle. It was around 10 when I knocked her door. “Oyeee…shit…vaat lag gayi yaar…haven’t studied a word man!!” I said as I entered her room. “Vo sab chod…how was the trip?? And where are the pics??” she asked in excitement. “Areyyy…the trip was superb! Kerala is mast…visited everything I love…mountains, beaches, waterfalls…it was amazing!! Will give you all the details later and there are sooo many pics but don’t have them right now! Will show them later na…” I said. “But why are you looking so dead? Didn’t sleep kya? Too much syllabus kya??” I enquired. “Arey nahi…vo actually make up nahi kia na kuch bhi…that’s why! And don’t know about the syllabus, haven’t started studying yet!” she smiled. Megha was just my mirror image, shamelessly lazy and unapologetic about it too. Grades had never bothered us, all we desired were passing marks. After all, who would waste 2500 bucks on a reappear exam!! And the great minds that we were, born with the gift of gab, getting passing marks was never a big deal. But this exam was different. It was typical finance, with lots of numerical problems and none or minimal theory, and hence no scope of gab, or fatte as we called that.

The exam was scheduled at 2 pm the next day. It was around 1 in the night when we finally got down to studies. After flipping pages from almost every unit in raddi trying to figure out the important questions as per last years papers, Megha declared at around 3.30, “I am sleeping, will get up at 6 now. Goodnight sweetheart!” she winked. “Damn..kaunsi good night?? Who’s gonna teach me if you sleep now!! Come on man…it’s the last exam of our student life, lets study the whole night, if only to give respect to our MBA…what say?” I tried to persuade her. “Hawa kha…I am sleeping…study well and teach me too. Wake me up at 6 Priya. You would be awake na?” she asked. “Yup!! Sure!! I will be!! Dekh tu…Now I will teach you finance!” I replied excitedly and got back to studies. I saw the time again after a few minutes. It was 5.30 am. “Shit!! Abhi to 3.40 the!!” I washed my face and again got down to studies. After what seemed like a few seconds, I looked at the watch again. 9 am. “Damn!! No!!” I looked at Megha sleeping comfortably. I kicked her. “Get up!! Its 9!! I slept the whole night!” I shouted. We then studied till 11. After our breakfast of omelettes, we got up to get ready for college. Megha came out with a bowl of egg. “Abey..ab aur kitna khayegi?” I asked. “I am not eating it dumbo, applying on my hair yaar.” She replied. “Yahan vaat lagi padi hai and you still have time for all this crap!” I said. “Huh! Abhi to sab make up bhi karna hai. I can’t compromise on that you see, varna log kya kahenge!” she giggled. “But you please speak loudly while studying so that I can utilise the time too.” She said. “Anything for you ma’am!” I winked.

We finally reached the college at 1. It was the last exam in college and an elective for which only 30 students had opted for, hence the college wore a deserted look. By now, I was in a state of shock. I could not recall a single word and people around discussing important questions and figures added further to that. I looked at the notes and then towards Megha. “Kuch nahi aata!!” I cried. Suddenly I got a punch on my back. I turned around to see Kanu. “Wassup guys?? Kya ho rha hai???” she asked giving her biggest smile. “Playing cricket! Whose team will you join??” I replied. “Hehehe….emotional kyu ho rahi hai! So..how’s the preparation dear??” she asked. “Cant you see and judge from my face! I am dead yaar. I wont pass for sure.” I replied. “Come on…you are always in such a condition…but I haven’t seen you so tensed before. All the other times, you said the same thing with a shameless smile. Why so dead today?” she asked. “Failing in the last term can be disastrous yaar, I should have studied!” I said. “But leave that now, tell me what are you doing here? Your exams are over!” I asked. “Oh, I just came now. Bang on time to see you guys studying. Poor you guys. You still have an exam to go!! And that too merchant banking! God is indeed cruel to some! And look here, at me. I am totally free!! You understand that?? How it feels?? To be totally free!! No exam! Nothing at all to do. Nothing. Wowww!!” she said giving that wicked smile. “Abeyyy kamini! You travelled for one and a half hours from home just to come here to make us feel miserable!!” Megha shouted. “Hehehe…yeah, feels like heaven!” Kanu giggled. “Abey, its 1.30. Padhne de!! See you at 4. Then we will tell you how it feels!” I said. “Yes yes, all the best guys. Come out quickly. We’ll have fun then!” she said.

Just then we saw our MB professor coming out of the canteen. We rushed towards him. “Sirrr…please pass kar dena!!” we begged. He gave a strange smile and came towards us. “I always told you both. Study study study. Its not an easy subject. You should have asked your seniors. Many students failed last year. The numerical problems involve a lot of application. And finance is nothing without that. You should have paid attention in the class. All the best now.” He said and left. We froze. Twenty minutes to go and my mind was blank. We quickly tried to give a look to all the important topics. The thoughts of flunking started haunting me. It was the last exam of the last term of college. Failing in that would mean not only a reappear but delaying of result which could hamper my job joining. “Damn! I should have thought of that earlier. I should have studied. Its not like other terms. It’s the last term. How can I spoil my career by failing in that! Shit!!” I thought and prayed simultaneously.

It was 2 now and we were seated in the examination hall waiting for the bomb to blast. My seat was the first from the entrance to the hall. The invigilator announced, “All the best everyone. It’s the last exam of your life. Don’t create trouble for yourself by engaging in cheating.” The question paper finally landed in my shivering hands. “16 marks…you have to get 16 marks somehow!! You have to pass!!” my mind was telling me constantly. I looked at the question paper. I could not believe my eyes. It was totally unexpected. Even before I could react, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was our MB professor. “So, pass ho jaoge??” he asked smiling. I gave him my broadest smile and exclaimed, “Yessss Sir!!! Thank you sooo much!!” It was the easiest paper I had seen not only in my MBA but in my entire student life. A dangerous finance subject with no numerical problems at all. It had ten short answer questions carrying 5 marks each out of which we had to attempt eight. I quickly made my calculations. Two marks in each would mean a straight 16. And all I had to do was fill pages with gibber. I looked around at the faces of my classmates. Every face gave a contented and happy look. I thanked God and got down to write the last exam of my life.

P.S. I obviously passed in this exam. :) ...and in all others too. Got my final term result some days back....

Finally, I am a yeM Bee yAe :D