V-Days!

I don’t know why there is so much fuss about voting. Do we need to be told about that? No way. We all know how important voting is. I have been aware of its importance since nursery class. We always got a holiday on the V-day. And when I grew up a little, I got to know more about it. I felt jealous of elders. I just wanted to grow up quickly to be able to do something on the V-day. Go to Archies gallery and buy some cards and then….oops that was…umm…and this is…damn…. I was always bad with acronyms. But I am very clear on one thing. Voting can actually do wonders for our country. Imagine what India was when it got freedom, and look at things today. It has been possible all because my grandparents always voted religiously for the right candidates. And so do my parents, brothers and I and that explains India’s current position among the fastest developing economies.

Every citizen above 18 should definitely vote. After all, how else would you get a 50% democracy discount on designer clothes by famous designers. Even Spykar if offering goodies like mugs and wristbands imprinted with ‘I voted’ and an autograph by Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra. Freebies are always welcomed but these autographed stuff…I don’t really like that. And that too by R.O Mehra! I didn’t like his Aks also. But hey, Rang de basanti was also by him and I liked that movie man. It left me all senti and agitated for full 15 minutes after I came out of the theatre. But still, running after autographs is so cheap, unless it’s by Shaun Pollock of course. But then if you are getting free stuff, then why not vote. If not for this, then at least for getting discounts on novels and cakes and cookies. Leading book stores and cafes are doing that. Even McD is tying up with govt to promote voting. That means more discounts. I m lovin it!

But damn…I don’t like people telling me what to do and what not. And all these film stars are hell bent on making us vote. Now that Aamir Khan, his nephew, Deepika Padukone, Asin, Abhishek etc are showing off their fingers right on our face threatening us to vote….where are the moral activists now? Such an indecent act right on national television. Damn. No…wait a minute…err…no…I think it wasn’t the middle finger. It was the index finger. Yes..it was. And it was ‘marked’ too. Oops…yes yes. Hey, so all the film stars are carrying that blue ink on their fingers, I bet it will become the latest fashion trend beating all those butterfly, angel and Om tattoos. Man…voting is the ‘in’ thing. And I can do just anything to be ‘in’. And also, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Now I don’t want to be caught by some jaago re guy offering me tea to wake me up when I am hanging out with my friends at PVR. And besides, I don’t like tea too. So it’s better to vote instead. Had he been offering fresh juice or cold coffee or chocolates, then I would have had second thoughts about voting. But now, no way. I am a responsible citizen and I will definitely vote.

I am really excited about it all. I have a long list of candidates whom I want to vote out. Yey! Hey, that’s allowed here too. Isn’t it? Or was it only at Roadies? Err…ya..damn. Now, I will have to choose out of so many. Its damn confusing man. Whom should I vote for? This multiparty system, I tell you, its just too bad. Too many choices always confuse me, whether with clothes or candidates. I think Priyanka Vadra would be a good choice, she looks cute and we share the same name after all. But then I think she is not standing in elections. Hmm…well now that Mr. Advani has started blogging, I can consider him too. Talk of blogger camaraderie. But then he is too old. Then, I will always feel jealous of Americans for having Mr. Obama. I have started admiring him even more since his cover shoot for the Washingtonian magazine. Yes he can do anything. And the first dog Bo is so adorable too. Coming back to our leaders, I can certainly consider the cute Omar Abdullah. But then cute faces are not enough. I got to think about the country too. And about issues that affect our lives. And damn, none of our leaders are talking about vital issues like the effect of strategic timeout in IPL, and the fact why Pollock is not playing for the Mumbai Indians team. I need an answer to that. My crucial vote certainly goes to the candidate who brings Pollock back.

P.S. My first ever attempt at writing a satire…got the inspiration to do so from a newspaper column. Criticism is most welcomed. Pour in your suggestions guys. :)

P.P.S. Do Vote. It’s our right and our duty.